I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
