respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
