bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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