I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
