After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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