The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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