It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
