Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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