Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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