Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
