i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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