I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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