dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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