from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
