Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
