You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
