Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
