If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
