I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
