worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Randomize
