I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
