but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
