lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
my poor anus
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
