She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
