this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
