You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
