Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
