I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
