I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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