Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
