So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
