If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
