I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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