Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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