We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
