Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
