I'll bet she douches with gravy.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
