Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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