but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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