OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
