it hurts more in the daytime
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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