i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
