he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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