My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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