I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
