And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
