By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
