i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
