I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
