saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
